#249 Coaltrepreneur
Dec07
on December 7, 2023
at 1:18 am
I looked up the worth of Coal to USD per ton for this comic and it didn’t seem correct but 40 seconds of research would never mislead me.
Read on Webtoons!
Cuddlep00p Links
Would it be okay if I possibly started writing fanfiction of the group.
Go for it!
While I hate to be the Devil’s Advocate, if Joey wants that sweet coal cash, he’s going to really have to up his game. Santa has observed horrible people for centuries so some mild words aren’t really going to keep him up at night. If Joey’s aiming for a ton or more of coal, he may also be facing jail time.
There was a mix-up at the elf-employment office, and cookie-making elves, dark elves, and North Pole elves got all switched around, creating enormous headaches for some and hilarity for most.
One group got massacred by a roaming band of orcs whom they failed to repel as the elves were carrying shields and wearing armor made of sugar, flour, eggs, water, oil, and a little salt. Even the ones with raisins failed to protect them like they’d hoped, rather predictably. The tastiness of their shields and armor did, however, prevent their being eaten, and resulted in rampant raging cases of diabetes among their killers, serving up a little revenge from the great beyond.
Meanwhile, elsewhere, a group of North Pole elves fared surprising well once they got the hang of baking cookies instead of building toys. These two skill-sets have substantial overlap, after all, and they’re closely related cousins, cookie and North Pole elves. The only problem was that some people didn’t like how everything now tastes like peppermint.
In the land of moist cellulose fiber sheets, the dark elves got confused and ended up sending Joey, (for Christmas, a midwinter holiday Joey’s family and a few other people observe,) a truckload of Kohl’s gift certificates, since in the human tongue, “Kohls” and “coals” sound more or less alike.
The bad news for Joey and company is that they’re all copies of the same one gift certificate and each has, therefore, the same one-time-use-only code, granting the bearer $10 off on a purchase of $50 or more, of Kohl’s regularly priced products. After the first one is used, if indeed anything can be found in the store that the thing is good for, the rest will ring up as void–already used.
The offer, coincidentally, excludes fine jewelry, junk jewelry, textiles, fabric, glass, ceramic, products, as well as Papal, Goggle, and AmazeYou partner products, fragrances by Bise, Ryuchango and Bocelci, and Frugal Fanny Gourmet Cookware (TM) sets, and is, moreover, void where prohibited, outlawed, or even just heavily frowned upon.
Cash value shall on no account exceed 1/1,000,000th of a Swiss Peso, French Ruble, or Plug Nickelback CD.
So… hope that worked out close enough to the way he wanted it.