#197 Lucky Guess
Dec08
on December 8, 2022
at 2:30 am
That’s clearly a puppy, she just got the helmet to throw him off 🙂
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That’s clearly a puppy, she just got the helmet to throw him off 🙂
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Okay, that’s PLAINLY a drum kit, and it just LOOKS like a puppy due to clever use of mind’s-eye camera angles. I’m looking forward to Soggy Cardboard: the lost pre-teen years, during which Joey, Kevin, and Carmen form a band. Joey on drums, Kevin on bass and occasionally keyboards and/or saxophone, as needed, and Carmen on lead vocals and 12-string electric guitar and/or banjo as needed.
Here’s how it goes: Joey gets the drum kit and quickly finds he’s got “the knack”. Kevin was always a fan and influenced by Sting, and Carmen has the voice, and is okay on guitar, though they make her lead in part because that’s just the musical direction they want to go, and it’s hard to sing while playing drums, otherwise Joey would do it. Also, Joey knows Carmen’s gonna get huge knockers and that will drive sales when they put her on the album of every album in something skimpy, possibly involving ‘fish netting,’ and little else but a strategically-placed musical instrument or a cascade of her lustrous locks.
In their early teen years, after releasing three or four albums, Carmen will end up in a puppy-love kind of young-kids-experimenting way with Kevin; then a stalker/super-fan who is all about punk-rock wheedles her way into the band, and breaks Carmen & Kevin up because she wants Kevin herself. (A redhead, perhaps, maybe with a name also starting with the letter, “K,” and she should be kind of a psychotic evil genius type.) The whole “being fought over by two hot chicks” thing, shockingly, throws Kevin into a tailspin and he experiments with hard drugs, like trying weed once, and drinking a non-alcoholic beer. It really messes him up, which brings us to… today. He’s reclusive and likes writing poetry and sad ballads. The poetry is amazing and heart-felt, but he sets every sheet of it he writes on fire immediately after, because he has… issues. Much of it is about how much he misses the time when he and Carmen were an item. Carmen will have no memory of this as a young adult because of something the crazy “other K” girl does, possibly involving witchcraft and smores.
Joey will go on to a brilliant solo career in Japan and South Korea, exploring a new genre of music: J-Pop. The less said about this, the better. He does end up very wealthy, however, and an agreement written on the turned-out inside of an empty box of frozen popsicles requires Joey split his lifetime earnings from all recordings, live performances, (excluding those purely for charity,) interview fees, speaking fees, modeling or acting, (but not for written works, such as books, magazine articles, etc.,) with all former bandmates who released at least one album with his band. (This is how Katherine gets rich, though she has little use for money until she snaps and goes full-evil genius in her late 20s.)
Carmen will lose all interest in music and singing, and will eventually defy her stereotype by pursuing a degree in animal husbandry. This is almost completely the result of Katherine, and “The Smores Incident.” One percent of it is that she’s tired of people staring at, talking about, or trying to grab her tits.
Katherine gets elected to state office, will beat a charge of 2nd degree murder, then be elected to the US Senate, serve 2 terms, and in 2045, she’ll begin her first unsuccessful run to become President of the United Nations, due to a tragic misunderstanding during a field trip in 9th grade. Eventually, all that will blow over and she’ll end up becoming the US Secretary of the Interior, and do a pretty damned good job for a crazy lady. After retiring from public office, she’ll complete an underground volcano lair, where many conspiracy theorists will believe she keeps her former bandmate Kevin hostage as a sex slave. For once, the conspiracy theorists will be 100% right, but they’ll never know it due to the elaborate system of traps and psychological torment she’ll inflict on Kevin to keep him from escaping while she’s not actively humping the fuck out of him, which will be… often.
TLDR please
In the time it took you to post “TLDR please” you could have pressed the space-bar 11 times. Actually, probably more times than that, even, since you wouldn’t have had to spend the 5 minutes hunting and pecking for the sequence of keys representing different letters.
Then, you would have scrolled right past my post and not had to suffer the humiliation of telling the world that you can’t read, saving you heaps of embarrassment, and me the time and trouble of typing this. I… KNOW… some people won’t have the patience or the mental horsepower to read at the 5th grade level, which, honestly, is probably higher than the level of complexity and reading difficulty of my writing. I’m not using even FIVE dollar words, let alone TEN dollar ones. In fact, most of the words I used in my last post here, AND this one are a dime a dozen. Less, really, these days, thanks to the market being flooded with cheap, artless, mass-produced, stamped TIN words from nations considered under-developed by the OECD. The combination of labor so cheap the wages border on nonexistent, the terrible working conditions bordering on slavery, the looking the other way what authorities they have of the use of often-unpaid child labor, tantamount to slavery, really, and the complete lack of environmental regulation and safety oversight for those poor workers who make these cheap, knock-off words cobbled together in third-world sweatshops make their use practically a crime-against-humanity, but that’s what I must compete against. It’s hard to keep a wordshop open where words are made, RIGHT HERE in the developed world, where I have to conform to a mountain of safety regulations, worker’s rights laws, and wade into a sea of red tape any time I want to even THINK about making a new word. You just have no idea.
I have to sell my words so cheaply that I’m practically giving them away! In fact, you know what? Take them. You can have these words for FREE. Screw it. I’m going to lay off all my associate wordsmiths, adjective polishers, tense-grinders, clause fitters and letter forgers, and I’ll just retire, and maybe make this a hobby. A HOBBY, BOBBY! Yeah, I said it!
Or whatever. If the original post was too long to read, this one probably was too. By the way… it’s “TL;DR”. Learn to use the semicolon; it’s your friend. See what I did there? I used a semicolon to separate two independent clauses, so as to provide an example of their proper usage. The first clause was an imperative directing the person to whose post I’m replying to learn to use the semicolon, and the second was a statement in justification of the imperative, since for reasons of stylistic choice, I decided against using a coordinating conjuction, (one of the “FANBOYS” words, being ‘for,’ ‘and,’ ‘nor’ ‘but,’ ‘or,’ ‘yet,’ and ‘so,’) between them, that would have allowed for the clauses to be separated with a comma instead of the fancier, gold-plated semicolon.
Maybe I’ve misinterpreted the post to which I type this riposte. Maybe he or she was asking me to post a “TL;DR VERSION,” i.e., a rephrasing of the original comment that would take less time to read, and perhaps be simpler to understand, but there’s no way to do that, since the whole point of the post was to ELABORATE on the content of the comic to enhance the enjoyment thereof for myself, and in the hopes of adding to the enjoyment of at least one other reader, perhaps the comic’s author, in the form of posting what could be thought of as fan-fiction, (or “fan-fic,” for people who have trouble reading words as long as “fiction,”) that is right here on the same website.
Far from criticizing the comic above, in case that’s how the previous post came off, I was applauding it, and sharing a bit of “headcanon” on what could happen after the events depicted in the comic with my fellow readers who likewise love this webcomic.
But I do go on, don’t I? ;-b
I like drums
He assumes the helmet is for the bike. Which is cute, since there’s no way Joey’s mum would let him near any form of personal transportation after dropping a car on Carmen.
I wonder if the author reads these comments? I tune in literally every thursday for these comics.
I read every single one 8)
Joey knows because it’s a simple case of converging thought processes. Spend enough time around someone and you’ll start to learn how they think, and get progressively better at predicting it. Eventually, you’ll be able to make huge logical leaps and be correct at what they’re thinking and about to do.
I think he peeked, there is no way he knew otherwise smh
I found your comic last night and decided to read all of them from the start, it’s been really cool seeing how your art style evolved over the past 7 years and I look forward to seeing more from you in the future!
Oh heck yeah! Thank you for reading, and I’m glad you’re enjoying it! B)
Can’t wait for the next qna I have several questions in mind;)
Can’t wait for the next qna I have several questions in mind;)
There’s an alternate cut of this one floating around where the punchline is her looking at joey’s photo while drinking and says “If only he were right…”
That was how I found this comic, that one was funny as hell
Care to share with the rest of the class? A URL perhaps?